Burger Thread

[milo]

I thought this would be a good place to explore some possibilities of one of my favorite food groups, the Hamburger. Chime in with your best/worst hamburger experiences. I'll start.

Peanut Butter Burger - Its fantastic. Its a delicious way to combine bulking foods. The peanut butter melts a little and makes it a big sloppy mess. Try it, you're welcome.

[MazdaMatt]

This weekend I ate a burger with:
1/2lb patty
2 scrambled eggs
bacon
cheese

It was spectacular. This was assembled while camping.

Incidentally, I found out on thursday last week that it was "Burger Week" at Harvey's restaurants... buy a burger and get a free burger. Its like christmas but without all that religious nonsense.

[strengthstarter]

About one egg per pound of beef, loads of garlic, diced onion, basil all mixed together. Grilled 'em up, threw another fried egg on top and ate them open-faced in a raw red capsicum pepper. x2

Good shit.

[Ian Kovtunovich]

I haven't actually tried this one, but there is a burger cart near my work that I love (Brunch Box, SW 5th ave bx Oak and Stark, downtown Portland) that has a burger called the Redonkadonk, which consists of: two Texas-toast grilled-cheese sandwiches for buns, a burger patty, ham, SPAM, bacon, cheese, and a fried egg, plus the usual burger fixin's. I usually just get a double cheeseburger, but that fucker looks pretty vicious.

http://static1.px.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/-0UFHXx8kTeyqEaMFY-zeg/l

[MazdaMatt]

This is definitely the most interesting thread on SS today.

[Braindrop]

I just finished curing and smoking a pork belly, so for lunch yesterday it was an 8 oz burger with onions from the garden, homemade bacon, cheddar cheese, cucumber and tomato. No bun.

Mmmmmm.

Pics next time I make it.

[Marotta]

Grilled cheese as buns is the best idea ever

[Flying Fox]

Not my own experience, but I thought it would be worth mentioning. This was posted on the dutchbodybuilding forum a few days ago:

http://img172.imagevenue.com/loc3/th_75233_STA71124_122_3lo.JPGhttp://img223.imagevenue.com/loc1191/th_75237_STA71131_122_1191lo.JPG

Ingrediënts:
1500 gr. meat
150 gr. bacon
870 gr. pizza pepperoni
250 gr. cheese
120 gr. herbs
1 onion
3 eggs

About 8400 kcal.

[Dastardly]

Looks like they used pizza bases as the bun!

That thing is thick! If I was gonna eat that much meat in one go, I think Id prefer a moister option.

[Ian Kovtunovich]

That thing is thick! If I was gonna eat that much meat in one go, I think Id prefer a moister option.

OK, I don't want to pick on poor Dastardly any more than he already gets picked on around here, but, uh...well, the above phrase is sophomorically hilarious.

[Dastardly]

I just meant a slab of meat between two thick pieces of dense dry bread would be a monster jaw workout. I think I could only eat that much if it was ground/minced and with some kind of moist sauce.

Its hard to comment on large pieces of meat without running into sexual puns.

[milo]

Grilled cheese as buns is the best idea ever

I tried it for lunch today, it is indeed the best idea ever.

[Marotta]

I tried it for lunch today, it is indeed the best idea ever.

I'm going for it today, I'm gonna use Lick's burgers that you buy in the box (they're awesome) and a few strips of bacon. I'm pretty excited.

[IlPrincipeBrutto]

I tried once venison meat, and it was really nice.
I prefer my burgers plain and simple: just the patty, maybe some token salad, and no mayo (can't stand mayo) or sauce. I can accept cheese, but I prefer something a bit more adventuros like blue cheese, or goat's, rather than the standard slice of generic Cheddar they often serve around here. Gorgonzola would probably make for a very good combo.

My major gripe is about the quality of the buns: I prefer my bread crisp and crunchy, but the standard offering for burgers seems to be flaccid and soggy.

IPB

[Dastardly]

Dont want to put something flaccid in your mouth eh?

(you see, the puns are unavoidable)

[IlPrincipeBrutto]

(you see, the puns are unavoidable)

And so are the Buns.


IPB

[Marotta]

I'm going for it today, I'm gonna use Lick's burgers that you buy in the box (they're awesome) and a few strips of bacon. I'm pretty excited.

Update: That greatest thing I've ever put in my mouth

[MazdaMatt]

IPB, try this:

Use the amount of burger meat necessary to make one large burger - a half-pound at least. Split it in half and make two thin, wide patties out of it. Now put a piece of blue cheese in the middle of one and put the other on top. Pinch around the edges to form a single patty with blue cheese hidden inside.

You can also put things like mushrooms or hot peppers inside with the cheese to increase awesomeness.

This works best with strong cheese like Blue.

[Squatson]

Update: That greatest thing I've ever put in my mouth

I work at a bar, I just made one, and the owner wants to put it on the menu.

[MazdaMatt]

The awesomeness is spreading.

[rpbrown]

Try making these monster burgers. If you've ever heard of The Vortex in Atlanta, GA, you probably know about the Double Bypass burger:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3103/2434243193_e135259656.jpg

From their menu, the ingredients are as follows:

CORONARY BYPASS BURGER
Our big half-pound sirloin patty, topped with a
fried egg, three slices of American cheese, four
slices of bacon, with plenty of mayo on the side that
we expect you to slather all over this burger. It
comes with a side item too. $8.75

DOUBLE BYPASS BURGER
Twice as big as the Coronary Bypass! Topped with
two fried eggs, six slices of American cheese, and
eight slices of bacon, all served between the two
grilled cheese sandwiches that we use in place of
the regular hamburger buns. $14.95

Here is the behemoth that trumps the previous two:

SUPER-STACK HEART ATTACK BURGER
Two half-pound sirloin patties stacked inside three
grilled cheese sandwiches, topped with two fried
eggs, eight slices of American cheese, ten slices of
bacon, with plenty of mayo on the side. With this
burger we choose your side for you, and it’s a big
bowl of fries and tots covered in our cheesy-cheese goo. $25.95

http://media1.px.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/qemLmo2gM7SAMsvUK5JWUA/l

As an aside, my 5'0 Asian girlfriend ate the Double Bypass (successfully, save for a few tater tots) on her birthday this year. She had a hangover the next day without having had a single drink.

[jameson]

Just when I was beginning to lose hope in this forum...this thread shows up.

My cousin's (in-law) uncle (in-law) was found with the following on Father's Day: a hamburger layered with sliced hotdogs topped with bacon and covered in cheese. Legend has it that he ate three of these things.

Yes, I have a large, tight-knit family on my wife's side...even for a Southern family. But we know how to eat.

[charlesj]

On the topic of peanut butter burgers, I recently had this monster called a "garbage burger." It is:

A big ass burger, peanut butter, muenster cheese, bacon slices, and . . . a fried banana.

It's wicked.

[IlPrincipeBrutto]

Matt,


IPB, try this:

Use the amount of burger meat necessary to make one large burger - a half-pound at least. Split it in half and make two thin, wide patties out of it. Now put a piece of blue cheese in the middle of one and put the other on top. Pinch around the edges to form a single patty with blue cheese hidden inside.



Thanks a lot for this mouth-watering tip. I think I'll go for Angus minced beef, and gorgonzola.

IPB

[MazdaMatt]

You won't be dissapointed. I've tried it with Brie and cheddar before, but it just didn't have the punch - makes for a very moist burger either way.

[strengthstarter]

SUPER-STACK HEART ATTACK BURGER
Two half-pound sirloin patties stacked inside three
grilled cheese sandwiches, topped with two fried
eggs, eight slices of American cheese, ten slices of
bacon, with plenty of mayo on the side. With this
burger we choose your side for you, and it’s a big
bowl of fries and tots covered in our cheesy-cheese goo. $25.95

"Then we'll bring out our 55oz. Las Mesa He-Man steak slab, served with a deep fried pumpkin stuffed with buttered scallops and 53 of our potato bacon bombs." --Patton Oswalt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPCB5sAQKa0

[Patrick]

My burger making school is sort of like strengthstarter's. I mix spices and such into the hamburger meat in a bowl before making patties.

Right now I like to put Dijon mustard and Worcestershire sauce into the mix. Since they're both liquid this can mess up the consistency of the burger, so it's helpful to spoon in some bread crumbs to soak up the moisture. The crumbs can mess up the cohesion and make the burger crumble but one way to get around that is to crack an egg into the mix and stir it in.

At the very least, you should add in dry stuff like garlic powder, salt, pepper, and your favorite herbs/spices before making the patties and grilling them. I mean, so much energy goes into dressing the burger after it's made in an effort to apologize for a bland patty. This is one of those places where an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bacon.

[MazdaMatt]

I fully agree. All of my burgers contain egg, bread crumbs and various seasonings.

In place of wosces...worster... worchestershester... that stuff, i usually use chinese Hoisin sauce. It makes a pretty awesome flavour.

Chili powder and/or habenero powder (depending on who's eating it)
basil and/or parsley and/or oregano
always paprika
black pepper
minced garlic

I get lots of compliments on my burgers from guys that love burgers as well as girls that don't really love burgers.

[Patrick]

Hoisin is a genius idea.

[Scrofula]

I'm a burger purist. Beef, salt, maybe pepper. Stirring in spices makes the meat overworked and tough. I do sometimes spice the outside of the patty, though. Cumin, red chili powder, onion powder and salt work well.

This (http://aht.seriouseats.com/tags/The%20Burger%20Lab) website has some interesting tips.

[Patrick]

I'm a burger purist. Beef, salt, maybe pepper. Stirring in spices makes the meat overworked and tough. I do sometimes spice the outside of the patty, though. Cumin, red chili powder, onion powder and salt work well.

This (http://aht.seriouseats.com/tags/The%20Burger%20Lab) website has some interesting tips.

Blah, if chocolate can be folded into a meringue without ruining texture then spices can be mixed into hamburger.

[drewcarroll2]

I haven't actually tried this one, but there is a burger cart near my work that I love (Brunch Box, SW 5th ave bx Oak and Stark, downtown Portland) that has a burger called the Redonkadonk, which consists of: two Texas-toast grilled-cheese sandwiches for buns, a burger patty, ham, SPAM, bacon, cheese, and a fried egg, plus the usual burger fixin's. I usually just get a double cheeseburger, but that fucker looks pretty vicious.

http://static1.px.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/-0UFHXx8kTeyqEaMFY-zeg/l

This is the most impressive thing I have ever seen. I am now craving one of these. Have you actually seen anyone eat on of these? Is it even possible?

[Ian Kovtunovich]

I haven't actually seen anyone eat one of those, although it seems theoretically possible. I suspect the addition of a beverage such as a crisp, light beer to cut the grease would probably up one's chance of success.

[drewcarroll2]

Ian,
If I WERE to eat that I would have to eat it with a very, very dark beer. There is a place near Ramstein AB Germany that is called Big Emma's.......

I am the guy with the Beer.

did these photos work??360
361


They turned out a lot smaller than I thought they would...............But that burger is a solid 12" across and that is a 3 liter beer!

[Ian Kovtunovich]

12" burgers and 3-liter beers...damn! What is that, like a pitcher and a half of beer? I would be DONE after that. And 1/4 of a cow? Fuggeddaboutit!

[brianb]

Damn. You would die and wake up in Valhalla.

[ColoWayno]

Call me boring, but I like Red Robins burgers. Peppercorn is my favorite but I haven't met one I didn't like.

If I'm not making my own at home (my real favorite) then I take the wife there.

[Patrick]

I went to a World Cup party today. Turns out that sauerkraut is GREAT as a burger topping!

[MazdaMatt]

Hoisin is a genius idea.

You're welcome. Report back when you try it :)

[tertius]

Anyone grilling up a special meat patty concoction today?
Also, I'm going to have a try some of these, for damn sure...

[JM3]

put a pat of butter in your burger when you grill it- keeps it "moister" as Dastardly would say.

if you like cumin on it- try cumin seed heated in oil for 5mins then mixed in. cloves of garlic,salt/pepper.

I mostly eat Bison burgers now- expensive but worth it- and taste good over hickory smoke.

[Carlos Daniel]

if you like cumin on it-(...)

You should have seen the look on my face as I read this.

[MazdaMatt]

You should have seen the look on my face as I read this.


http://www.johnohler.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/2hex9vc.jpg

Burger thread now officially ruined.

[Ian Kovtunovich]

http://www.johnohler.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/2hex9vc.jpg

Burger thread now officially ruined.

How the fuck did you even google for that? :confused:

[MazdaMatt]

Haha... someone dropped that bomb into a thread somewhere else. Truely amazing, eh? I actually almost vomitted a little in my mouth just now.

[OldGreyOne]

Matt,




Thanks a lot for this mouth-watering tip. I think I'll go for Angus minced beef, and gorgonzola.

IPB

Variation of what we call a "Juicy Lucy" here in north country. Good stuff!

[Carlos Daniel]

http://www.johnohler.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/2hex9vc.jpg

Burger thread now officially ruined.

I think I just might cook dinner for my girlfriend one of these days. I'll just have to think of a way to not eat it myself without raising suspicion.

Would that be too cruel? she is my girlfriend after all.

[Ian Kovtunovich]

I think I just might cook dinner for my girlfriend one of these days. I'll just have to think of a way to not eat it myself without raising suspicion.

Would that be too cruel? she is my girlfriend after all.

I think if you have to trick her into swallowing it, you need a different girlfriend.

[Carlos Daniel]

I think if you have to trick her into swallowing it, you need a different girlfriend.

Good point.

Well, there is a prank she played on me a while ago, that I've been meaning to get back at her for a long time. The initial plan was to lace her coffee or coke with methylene blue, which in sufficient quantities makes your pee blue/greenish. I don't know about you, but I'd be concerned if my pee turned blue.

But serving her a cum cake of sorts would be taking it a little further.

I'll think of something...mwahahaha...

[MazdaMatt]

I wouldn't do that if you ever want to be physcially capable of cumming again.

[ILiftAlone]

I wouldn't do that if you ever want to be physcially capable of cumming again.

This is true. You should proceed very cautiously anytime you consider pranking a person who has access to your genitals.